Last week we looked at 3 effective ways in which we can improve our self-confidence. As explained, confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks, whereas self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think – and our thoughts on whether or not we feel worthy or valued.
Due to this difference, steps to improve self-esteem are going to differ from steps to improve self-confidence, so for that reason, we have listed our 3 top tips to raising that esteem of yours!
1. Be kinder towards other people
Being kinder to others is often found to be a lot easier than being kind towards ourselves as we are often so much more critical towards ourselves than we are to other people. When you are kinder towards others you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too, which is unfortunately a huge challenge for a lot of us females!
2. Write down 3 things every morning that you appreciate about yourself
And revisit them every night! Try and vary your appreciations from day to day, and aim to focus on and appreciate internal aspects – your intelligence, your sense of humour, your empathy towards others, your honesty etc – things that you own and that can not be taken away from you.
There should always be something to be proud of and appreciative towards. If you’re struggling and have followed tip one, you can put at the top of your list your kindness towards others!
If you’re lacking 3 aspects in the morning, make a conscious effort to do something within that day to be able to list 3 that night. After all, self-esteem starts with being aware of the fact that you are in complete control of yourself, your thoughts, and your actions so if there is something you don’t like, you have all the power in the world to change it.
3. When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, counteract those thoughts with positives
Even if those thoughts are about something, or someone else! Now unfortunately, this is easier said than done because we think a LOT. A lot of scientists have estimated we have an average of 60,000 thoughts a day (some even say 80,000), that 95% of those thoughts are the same thoughts repeated every day, and that on average, 80% of those habitual thoughts are negative.
WOW! Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to focus more on negative experiences than the positive ones because back in the day, it was a matter of survival. We had to be aware of, and focus on, anything negative until it was gone because usually something negative was a threat to life.
Nowadays however, that is very rarely the case, but evolution is yet to catch up. The good news? We can train our brains to think new and different thoughts. When we question our thoughts, we change our relationship with our thinking. So challenge every negative thought that you are aware you have. Contradict that thought with positive feel good ones because after all, self-esteem, like confidence, is a state of mind.